1996 My Fourth Driving Test

This was in England. Again. Glennys and I were near the end of our strange, impetuous year in England. We'd soon be no longer allowed to drive as Canadian visitors. We were obliged to take driving tests to obtain British driving licences.

An awful fiasco it turned out to be.

The logic behind it defies belief. We'd arrived, supposedly completed strangers, unaware of rules and regulations. We were on the wrong side of the road and in unfamiliar vehicles - like any other toursits from North America. And yet we were allowed to career about Britains roads, a danger to the entire population for a whole year. We hit nothing and nobody and generally behaved like good citizens, slowly evolving, slowly learning, slowly improving. Then, just when we might be expected to have got as good as we were likely to get ........ we are required to take a test.

I failed. Driving with my usual verve and dash, confident that I driven just about everything, just about everywhere, oft under apalling conditions I just drove where and when directed. How could I fail? Yet fail I did.

She failed too. Essentially, she claims, because the examiner (same man) wanted her to do a three point turn on a busy road. "Why can't we turn somewhere quieter, safer?" she protested. He insisted, she refused saying it was an unnecessary risk.

Driving tests always puzzle me. Always concerned with the elaborate vehicle manouevering trivia with no regard to the new driver's abilities with high-speed highway driving or driving in darkness or in fog or on ice. So we came home, unlicensed (more reasons than just the driving of course.)

A delicous footnote: At the garage that sold us our little Ford (and bought it back when we returned to Canada) the owner told us that our examiner had been testing a motor cyclist soon after our tests. When he stepped out to indicate to his testee that he had to make the traditional emergency stop ........... the guy ran him down and put him in hospital. There is a justice after all hee hee hee hee!!!!! Still delighted about that. No more driving tests for me ........................ I sincerely hope!